TEN: Choosing

Godzilla sleeps badly that night. He gets up and plays the monster mash on his little record player. He dances around the room as if he's enjoying himself, but knows he's not. He goes over to the BIG MONSTER RECREATION CENTER. He sees Kong there, on a stool, undressing one of his Barbies, fingering the smooth little slot between her legs. He sees that Kong has drawn a crack there, like a vagina. It appears to have been drawn with a blue ink pen. He's feathered the central...

GODZILLA'S TWELVE STEP PROGRAM

by

Joe R. Lansdale




ONE: Honest Work

Godzilla, on his way to work at the foundry, sees a large building that seems to be mostly made of shiny copper and dark, reflecting solar glass. He sees his image in the glass and thinks of the old days, wonders what it would be like to stomp on the building, to blow flames...

So those who know me, and know me well, have experienced the very precise moment when I cross the line between funny and creepy. Those who REALLY know me understand that I do this on purpose, because I find joy in this similar to the joy that a 5 year old finds in playing cops and robbers with guns made from tree knots.

Today at around 5:30 a facebook user (who will henceforth only be known as JS) started his second ever conversation with me. The first conversation was basically pleasantries...

The problem with people (well, one of the problems) is the way they define themselves. Too often, people think of themselves first as Christian or Muslim, American or British, Republican or Democrat, male or female, white or black, young or old, rich or poor, goth or punk, et cetera.

First and foremost, we are all human beings, and we should consider this similarity before rushing to distinguish ourselves from everybody else. There's nothing wrong with expressing yourself as an individual,...

This has always been one of my biggest issues with the Bible, that Christianity seems to be about worshipping God at the expense of yourself and of all mankind, focusing on the afterlife to the detriment of the here and now, as exemplified by John 12:25.

Saint Augustine, one of the most revered and influential thinkers of Christendom, had this to say about that verse in...